Wednesday, April 27, 2011

This is the end of the story

I promise not to talk about Colonoscopies any more.

Except, just this once.

It's over. I got the "all clear" sign from Dr. Bartolone (note to unmarried's: he's cute and, according to Bill, available).  Apparently, the 3 of us had a lovely conversation after I woke up from the anesthetic. I have no recollection. Clearly, I enjoyed the combination of drugs that they used to put me under....unlike my friend, Howard G., who is proud to tell you that he had the procedure sans anesthetic - he's much tougher than I.

I spent from 2 a.m- 7 a.m. this morning drinking the potion and watching bad TV.  Apparently, the majority of TV after 3 a.m. consists of paid advertising. Who knew? One ad that got constant rotation, on multiple channels, was some kind of bra that  you ordered in small, medium or large that changes your life. Also, I'm really curious about Cindy Crawford's beauty cream from France. It's made from melons with a super-anti-oxidant and a very happy French doctor invented it. "She's 43! And she looks great!" Since when is 43 the age when you fall apart? All I can say about the melon cream is bulls*%$. Maybe it's the anesthetic still talking, but I don't think so.

Anyway, if you are over 50 and haven't scheduled a colonoscopy, I urge you to do it. If you're lucky enough to find a center like the one in Amherst -  my time at the Endoscopy Center was pleasant  - yes, I said pleasant. EVERYONE that worked there was extremely helpful and sweet with just the right amount of chattiness. And, they even covered me with a warm blanket! Ahhhhh.

But, the best??? The best was when I woke up in the recovery area and looked over to my left to see Bill sitting there patiently. OK, he was working on some papers, but he was there waiting for me. I know, I know - of course it's expected of a husband of over 20 years. But, still. It's a good feeling. Second only to getting to the all clear sign.

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