I finally made the call to the Gastroenterology center of Williamsville. They are the doctors that have a huge sign on Maple Rd. telling everyone who is 50 to get a colonoscopy. I didn't call because of the sign; I called because my primary doctor gave me a referral and told me to get it done.
Have you ever notice that the word "enter" is embedded in the word gastroenterologist? That's what they do, you know: enter your colon with a wee camera. I'm very glad that cameras now are very teeny tiny. It makes me think of the movie Fantastic Voyage where instead of shrinking a camera and inserting it through the blood stream, they shrunk PEOPLE AND a SUBMARINE and let it rip through the body. Talk about insane! I feel much more comfortable with a camera than with Raquel Welch intruding my nether regions.
Whenever I hear the word colonoscopy I always hear Robert Klein's song
in my head. It's hilarious but also quite a catchy tune. Once you've heard it, you will never get it out of your head. I've seen Robert Klein in concert a few times because of the generosity of his musical director, Bob Stein. Bob is a lovely man and a good friend of Bill's - they met at the University of Rochester. Anyway, Bob always gets us tickets to see Robert Klein when he plays locally. (Click on the link above and you can see Bob playing the piano on the left side of the stage.) Klein's concerts are always fun. And his routine about colonoscopies always gets a huge response from the audience because his audience is "of a certain age" and they can relate.
Within the first sentence he was "blah blahing" and I stifled a laugh. I told the man on the other end that Bill was drugged and was still recovering from a 'procedure'; that he was not himself and to please forgive him. I then hit the "hangup" button and laughed my pants off. I got such a charge out of seeing Bill in such a state. He really thought he could do some business on the ride home. In fact, he was certain he could go back to work. Once I got him home, I hustled him upstairs and into bed and took away the bedside phone. Those drugs kept him comatose until dinner.